An Update-ish Post

*Ring, Ring* Grandma.
"Hello?" my voice was shaking.
Why was I so nervous about speaking to my own family?
Why wouldn't I be?

All up, It was a fairly pleasant conversation, I hadn't realised how much I missed her.
Nothing to be scared about...

Stress has been getting to my head.
I've been irritable,
unable to concentrate,
quiet, although what else is new?

History is repeating it's self,
I'm increasingly insecure around my friends,
and I'm whinging to a keyboard, and you, I guess.
Sorry about that...

So I just wanted to write something,
and ridiculously enough I had no object in mind when I started this post.
I trust life enough to know that it will have to go right sooner or later.

Over and out,
Thank you xxx

The Queen and Her Tower

Once upon a time, In the land we had visited not so long ago there lived a Queen whose daughter the Princess had left to live with the King. The Queen was fill of sorrow and hatred so she locked her self in an ivory tower high above the clouds where no one could reach her, least of all the Princess who had broken her mother's heart.

One day word got to the Princess that the young Prince, her brother, was going to visit the Queen in her tower so the King decided he was to take the Princess so she could visit the Queen and the Prince. The Princess  knew that her mother would be pained to see her, especially if she was accompanied  by the King, but the Princess missed the Queen and simply wanted a smile.

When the Princess arrived at the ivory tower the King remained at the edge of the woods so the Princess could go alone. When she arrived she watched as the Prince climbed a rope into his mothers arms. The sounds of joy and laughter floated from the window. She could picture her mother's smiling face. The Princess sucked in a deep breath and reached out for the rope, but when she did the rope was ripped from her grip and hauled into the tower.

The Queen's face popped out the window. The Princess opened her arms to her, hoping there had been a mistake. The Queen wore an expression of loathing.
"As long as you live with the King you cannot be my daughter" she shouted, closing the window behind her.

The Princess crumbled to the ground, tears flowed down her face. The Queen could never love her again and the Princess would have to stop loving her too.

Suddenly silhouette wings sprouted between her shoulder blades and carried her far, far away where she found open arms and was loved.

Acceptance

All the time things are written and said about teenagers and their search for identity. It is said so often that it is almost a cliche, and in my mind this wasn't true. Until now...

It seems that I have been striving for acceptance and to feel like I belong again. After being torn from a school and the friends I was comfortable with I was thrown into a new world where all the rules have been changed and in stead of being the confident, happy person I had become with my friends I have become a shy, quiet girl who fades into the background. It seems no one knows who I am.

So I've been at this school for two months now, I'm no longer the new girl, but I still haven't found my place. they organise things around me and I always take a step back to avoid being involved. I am isolating myself. Not for the first time.

Nothing is different at home. Everything about this situation feels temporary, this room, this house, this life. Like one day I'm going to wake up and be somewhere that I was meant to be. I feel like things are still changing.

So for tonight I am going to close my eyes and drift into a world of silhouette dreams and wait for tomorrow.

xxx