PJ, TINY PLANET EXPLORER - Virgin Media Shorts

PJ, TINY PLANET EXPLORER - Virgin Media Shorts

He is absolutely amazing. He's funny, quirky and incredibly talented. I'm not normally one to spam on behalf of anyone, but he REALLY deserves to win. So pretty please like/share his video and check him out on YouTube.

I swear you won't regret it. I *lessthanthree* you

This is a Self Diagnosis

I eat. I eat more than I should.
Never in public.
I hide it.
 Eat when I'm alone. Or in my bedroom.
If no one can see me it doesn't count.
I make excuses.
 I hide the rubbish.
I don't do blood tests.
I try to hide it even from my self.
I'm putting on weight.
I feel guilty.
I make endless promises. I always break them.
It has been years.
I need help.
Sometimes I wish it was bulimia.
Doing something about the guilt. Throwing up.
Binging. Purging. Binging.
I don't purge.
Binging. Guilt. Binging.
Binge eating disorder.
I need to escape this.

Binge Eating Disorder....

Unfaithful - Rihanna REWRITTEN

A parody of Unfaithful by Rihanna that I wrote about procrastination and school work, while procrastinating and not doing school work:

Verse 1. 
Story of my life,
Got an essay to write,
But it keeps avoiding me,
Thought I was on a roll,
But is all seems wrong,
I could use an epiphany

I think I'm going mad,
I've really had enough,
Now I'm always feeling blue,
More papers to hand in,
Due date comes again,
There is just do much to do

Bridge
Because I know that every time I have an assessment due
I always find something better to do
When I should really study

Chorus
I don't wanna do this any more,
I just don't know what to write,
I throw my pen down on the floor,
And I think I've lost my study guide,
I don't know what I'm doing anymore,
I hope exams go all right.
I don't want to be a failure.

Verse 2. 
Teachers just don't care,
I'm pulling out my hair,
Preparing for the exam date,
Another paper to check,
I can't sleep yet.
Why did I procrastinate.

Bride 
Chorus

THE END

Procrastination

It's a disease, slowly picking apart my life. I just can't seem to get anything done. I have an essay due tomorrow. I haven't even started. I have been sitting at home all day in my pyjamas watching ellen and talking to strangers on Omegle. Now it is 4pm, and there is still little more than a fragmented sentence on my page. 

"I don't care any more" - The catchphrase of the chronic procrastinator. There is absolutely no way I will be able to complete the task now. It's self-destruction. Always ebbing away at my mind, and yet I don't do it.

Sometimes things get better I complete a task or two, if only just short of the due date. Today I don't see myself succeeding. 

So here I am writing another blog post instead of doing the work I am supposed to do. So, if only for traditions sake I am going to make another promise to complete every task I set out to do. If you are a serial procrastinator, like I am, join me in my pledge against this disorder. 

I,        (Name)       , pledge to complete all of my set tasks before the due date and to the best of my ability. I will not save it until the very last minute, and always plan ahead. 

And so history repeats itself...

Last night I yelled, I screamed, I cried.

I found myself sitting on my mum's laundry floor, sobbing into my lap. I was angry. So. Freaking. Angry. I never wanted to look at that face again. I wanted to run. Run away and never come back. I wanted to be shipped off to another land where the world it perfect. I was so angry. Almost exactly like before.

It was like the day I left my mother. I was angry, crying. Packing up my things. But this time it was different. I sat on the cold tile floor, as before, but this time something was different. The person hovering over me, wiping my tears, hugging me was my mum. And my father, hovering outside the front door, was the one I was angry at.

And so history repeats itself...

After many tears, my mother's comforting hand, and persuading words, I finally spoke to him, forgave him (although I'm not sure how long that will last) and went home. Without my mother, I would have made another mistake. One day, I'm going to have no where left to go.

Wait, What?!

It's amazing how much I care about things that don't directly affect me, or even indirectly affect me. My dad's ex wife, my old stepmother is pregnant. Or so I've heard somewhere along the rumour mill. To be completely honest, I'm worried. I'm worried about the new baby, I'm worried about her being too old for children, but mostly I worry about her children, the kids I have called my brother and sister for the last ten years.

Tiana has always fought for her mother's attention, and she is not perfect, although no one is, but it seems that everything she wants is only just out of reach. With a new baby, Tiana will be lost in the background, and I don't know how to let her know that I will be here for her. Always.

Deborah if you're reading this: Congratulations. And I'm sorry, you know more than I ever desired for you to know. Good luck on this new adventure, but I hope that you heed what I say. Your daughter will always be jealous. Don't let her down. I'll always be here for my sister if and when she needs me. Just make sure she knows that.

The Fault in Our Stars

Caution: *Spoilers* Non Spoiler-y post yet to be written 

To Dear Mr. John Green, 

How could you?! How could you create such a magnificent, attractive, real character, make me fall completely in love with him (as many of your readers have) then rip him away from me? 

It has been several days since I read those final lines of such a superb book, and it has stayed with me, hovering around my conciousness. The book itself has not left my side. I have flicked numerous times  through its pages, rereading various lines, letting them linger in my thoughts. 

It is a rare thing to find a book such as this. A book that stays with you long after turn the final page. A book with perfect characterisation blending fiction with true humanity. A book that is quite likely to mould with your being, never letting you go. This is how John Green writes. After reading Paper Towns, it was months before I could pick up another book, everything else paled in comparison. I'm not going to lie, the actions of Margo Roth Spiegelman, and even the thought process of Q have some effect on the decisions I make in my own life and the way I feel about certain things and events. The Fault in Our Stars is another such masterpiece. I will never look at a person with a missing limb the same again. 

I have bought Looking for Alaska (from eBay, as it does not appear to be available in Australia) and I cannot wait to hold it in my hands and move through it's pages and what is sure to be another amazing novel and thought provoking story. 

Mr. John Green the effort and care you put into weaving your novels is absolutely inspiring and I cannot wait for another story to evolve at your fingertips. I appreciate and am inspired by everything you do for us, and await with anticipation everything you have for us in the future.

DFTBA

Victor

It was my cousins first confirmation. He walked down the isle of the church, holding the glowing candle high above his head. As the priest blessed him and he's fellow confirm-ees (best word I could think off). There seemed to be some commotion down the front. I ignored it, and waved at my little cousin as he walked by.

When it was time for us to take our seat, several rows at the front of the church remained standing. I took note and dismissed it.

10 minutes later, half way through the proceedings, a group of people stood lifting an elderly man over their heads.

He had had a heart attack, halfway through his grandson's confirmation. The choir kept singing, the confirmation went on, but the entire church seemed shaken by the sight of the limp, frail man being carried from the church. His name was Victor.

I cannot tell you the current condition of his health, or even if he lived or not, but I was moved by the amount of people that offerred their help, but also wondered how many of them were motivated by curiosity.

I, myself am of no Christian faith, and my beliefs are far too complicated to mention here. But I will keep Victor in my thoughts, and whether your Christian, Buddhist, Wiccan or anything else, I hope you will too.

If I hear anything else, you will too.

Trains

Sydney trains. I hate them. They are filthy and slow and smell like urine. The people on them seem just generally unfriendly and sometimes even threatening.

I'm nearing the end of my 4 hour train trip, the worst end if it. I just got off a comfy little long-distance train, seated across from two lovely old ladies who lent me their crossword puzzle. And I traded that in for this dingy, smelly dump.

But you know what? I am happy. I could sit here for hours and describe the mess that is the Sydney train network. Or I could just be grateful that this hunk of smelly metal is getting me to my destination. To my family.

Also: thanks to the nice man who just smiled at me after I took my random photo of the train floor (and him) :)

William Pears

An entirely irrelevant and uncomplicated blog post today:

I dragged myself away from my desk, after an almost full day of watching Vlogbrothers videos, (you can find them here) in search of food. I opened the fridge. Nothing. Open the cupboards. Nothing. Back to the fridge, (I know it has been said before, but it is somewhat peculiar how the human mind is wired to assume something new would have materialised, or else we dramatically lower our standards) and I found pears. An unopened plastic box of pears. (I think they do this so they can hide the bad ones - the bad ones need love too.) Anyway, upon examining said plastic box (because I am that bored) I discover that these are not just pears, but they are 'William Pears'. (Which is probably just the "fancy" name for ordinary pears)

It made me wonder, as I do often, the origin of the name 'William Pears' and whether many other fruits and vegetables are named like humans. Meanwhile, I was also thinking that William Pears would make an excellent name for a character in a short story, mostly because right now I have my writing cap on and everything sounds like a good idea for a story. I wonder, are there any real William Pears out there? Statistically it is a possibility. Are you William Pears?

Stay tuned for The Story of William Pears on my other blog: Scarlet Words

Don't forget to be awesome!

Children

I kind of love this picture. There is just something about children and there innocence that I find beautiful and amusing. It amazes me that their simplistic way of looking at things can be so deep and unbelievably pure.

Children, it seems, are the only ones that understand the meaning of happiness and the joy in simple things. And we should all learn to do the same as adults.

Here's to putting stuff on our heads!

                                                      Nerdfighters!

DIAGNOSED!

This post is a little late, as it all occurred on the first and second of march, but I guess it took me a couple of weeks to come to terms with everything that has happened. Moving on...

The Symptoms

• Sudden and unexplained weight-loss (didn't mind this part)
• Excessive Peeing (definitely minded this part - so annoying)
• Drinking LOTS of water (why I thought I was losing weight)
• Always completely and utterly drained and tired
• My period hadn't come for 3 months (sorry to any easily offended guys reading this)
• My foot went limp and I couldn't walk properly

The last one is in bold, why? Because, while I did take notice of the other symptoms, they really didn't occur to me to mind, my foot: I was concerned about. So I took myself off to my GP, because not being able to walk properly is a pain. When I arrived I learned that, apparently, it was an "urgent issue" so I was referred to the hospital.

I had to call my mum (who I haven't spoken to in months) to take me to the hospital (being under 18 I couldn't admit myself). To my surprise she agreed. We waited at the hospital for about an hour before I went in to see a doctor, and I'm not entirely sure why, maybe it was something I said, he stopped focusing on my foot and took a finger prick. My blood sugar was 25.9. Mum didn't believe the machine - being Diabetic she pulled out her own and did it again, same result. A normal Blood Sugar Level (BSL) is around 5. Crap.

Then is was on. I have a morbid phobia of needles. Like, really bad. I have had very few of my immunisations (apparently they won't do it when you pass out) and rarely had a blood test, so when they told me I was very dehydrated and they  needed to insert a cannula, I freaked out. Long story short after a GREAT deal of extreme hesitation and talk of sedating me, they finally got not 1 but TWO cannulas into my arm. One for fluids, insulin and later glucose the other for Potassium (which, when in it's concentrated form, burns as it enters the arm)

Diagnosis:

TYPE 1 DIABETES

I was in hospital overnight. They kept wanting blood. I wouldn't let them have it. The next morning, with my mum to hold me (I think she took it harder than I did) I finally gave them the blood. Turns out my foot was temporary nerve damage due to a high blood sugar over an extended period (apparently I had been ignoring the symptoms for a while).So that's my tale of heroics (not really). I am on 4 injections per day and am doing okay with them considering. The diet is a big change but I'm handling it all. Best of all: my mum is talking to me again. We have plans in a weeks time!

And I get a pretty new necklace, even if it does have DIABETES in block letters on the back. 

Write or Die by Dr Wicked | Putting the 'Prod' in Productivity

Write or Die by Dr Wicked | Putting the 'Prod' in Productivity

This is one of the most amazing apps I have ever used.

I might actually complete a novel yet.

Just thought I would share, :)

Some Things Never Change

He walks through the door, always with a peeved expression, unhappy, snappy. He greets her dismissively, snapping at her when she asks questions, yelling about the dishes accumulating on the sink, before retiring to his usual arm chair with laptop at hand. And she goes on pretending like he's not there. When she walks in the morning, he will be gone.

Except, things are changing. The days he walks through that door are dwindling to maybe once a week. Once a fortnight? She finds herself dragging her feet; letting everything slip away, including her intelligence. And for the first time: she realises that she is feeling lonely.

Today he came home, walked through the door with his usual demeanour and a promise that he might actually spend some time with her. However, he tells her that things have to change. That couples, they spend time with each other on weekends. That in order to make his relationship work, he has to be there, to do thing with her. To leave the girl alone. She felt her heart shatter; she had actually thought he was going to propose spending more time with her.  And she realises that she misses him, more than she likes to let herself believe. And before she knows it, the days she sees him will be the same, if not less than before she moved in with him.

And the worst part. The most heart breaking part of this realisation is that she comes second. Just has she has always come second to her whole life.

And so I write things as a reminder to myself not to let myself hope, or believe and always know...

Some Things Never Change...

Life, School and Parentals

Seven weeks of holidays have finally ended as has my little identity crisis. I spent most of those seven weeks in my hometown and it gave me a chance to re-discover myself and establish who I want to be. Unfortunately, my current friends have not been very supportive, teasing me and reminding me that I am not as strong nor as assertive as I want to become.

Last week I forced myself out of my comfort zone. It was Australia day and so I decided to conform and drink, only a little, and to  be honest, I was kinda proud of myself. I can now declare myself a typical teenager, and just as I am writing this I am thinking "what If I don't want to be a typical teenager?" Anyway, I ended up at a little "party" (more like a get-together) and ended up with a guys phone number. I have never been hit on before, it took everything I had not to laugh at him as he made some incredible stereo-typical moves, as seen in Hollywood. :P He is sweet though.

I've decided I want my mother in my life and have began a series of journal entries to keep her updated, which, maybe one day, she will read. My father is leaving me home-alone more and more regularly, to the point  where it is weeks at a time. This "Independence" thing is growing on me.

So yeah, there's another boring chapter of my life :P
How's yours?